Not Ourselves
by BlackOrbit
Summary: The Enterprise pursues a rogue Romulan attacker only to find themselves acting unusually.


Captain's Log: We are currently in pursuit of the Romulan ship responsible for damages to a Starfleet outpost and we believe it is headed to planet Thracian Three. We are approaching with extreme caution in the event the Romulan's are baiting a trap.

Kirk's mind drifted as he waited for Sulu to announce the presence of the planet they were headed for. It wasn't long before the familiar voice snapped him back to reality.

"Coming up on Thracian Three, Captain."

"Thank you , hold orbit."

"Yes, sir."

", atmosphere, terrain and life forms."

"Oxygen Nitrogen atmosphere, terrain similar to that of Earth and a small group of Romulans appear to have landed on the planet's surface."

Kirk got up from his chair, hands clasped behind his back, and walked towards Spock's station thoughtfully.

"What do you think of the Romulan's behaviour Spock? Do you think they have a trap waiting for us?"

Spock straightened his bent figure and turned to face the Captain. After a moment's thought he answered,

"Although it is not in the Romulan nature to let themselves be caught, there is no indication that they have signalled for assistance and no other Romulan vessel in sight. Their ship was critically damaged in the confrontation with Starfleet; it could be that they have no other choice but to stop for repairs. There is still a small chance that they have hidden their signals or back-up is cloaked and waiting nearby but I do not think this group would have landed if that was true."

"Yes, thank-you Spock." Kirk turned sharply and walked back to his chair, pressing the button that connected him to the engineering deck. "Bridge to Engineering."

"Aye, Cap'n?"

"Take the Com; I'll be beaming down with , Uhura and ."

"Aye, sir, on my way."

"Spock, Sulu, Uhura, come with me."

The three fell in after Kirk and took the elevator down to the transporter room. All the way Uhura puzzled over the situation. It didn't seem like Romulans to land during pursuit, and most would rather die than be caught by Starfleet. Something wasn't right but because she couldn't think of an excuse that would convince the Captain so she climbed onto the transporter platform and braced herself when she heard the order to energize.

Kirk peered warily around the spot they had landed on, he, like Uhura, had his doubts about the safety of this mission but he was just glad that there had been no Romulan welcome party waiting for them. He took a step forward and suddenly felt a dizzying rush of adrenaline. He furrowed his brow; this was no time to be overanxious. Taking a deep breath he straightened and turned to the rest of the landing party, noticing that Spock and Sulu seemed to be experiencing something similar. Sulu swayed slightly before steadying himself, while Spock frowned and knit his eyebrows severely. Uhura seemed strangely unaffected, however, and she looked from man to man in confusion.

"We have to get moving. I have a bad feeling about this place." Kirk flicked open his communicator and buzzed the Enterprise, "Kirk to Enterprise."

"Scotty, here, go ahead Cap'n."

"Do you have the co-ordinates of the Romulan camp?"

"Aye Cap'n, they should be abou' twenty metres away from yeh, Latitude 42-5-3 and Longitude 54-5-8."

"Thanks Scotty, Kirk out. We should go around from two sides; we'll have a better chance of ambushing them. Sulu you come with me, we'll take the left through those stone formations. Spock and Uhura you take the right through those trees. Set phasers to stun and stay in constant communication, take no action without regrouping, and be careful. Move out."

Sulu felt out of breath and tired. He felt he couldn't go on any further without rest and since Kirk had stopped to recalculate the co-ordinates of the Romulans for the hundredth time, he took the opportunity to lean against a nearby boulder. "Captain, we've been walking around for an hour, we must be getting close."

"Yes, it should be right here. Either these co-ordinates are wrong or we're missing something."

"I could believe we missed something," Sulu agreed "I can hardly concentrate I feel…so tired!" His last sentence was interrupted by a large yawn that jumped quickly to Kirk.

"I feel it too…it's like a pressure, a huge weight." Sinking to the dirt close to Sulu, Kirk felt his eyes grow heavy. "Maybe…a short rest…is in order," he managed.

"I couldn't…agree…more." And before either of them realized what was happening Sulu and Kirk began to doze among the boulders and sparse trees.

Spock and Uhura had no better luck than the dozing pair. Though neither of them felt tired, their communicators and Spock's tricorder had started to malfunction and they found themselves stuck among a maze of trees and shrubs with no idea which way to go and no way to get help. It soon became apparent that they were walking in circles.

"I definitely remember that pond. Oh it's useless trying to follow the tricorder guidance system, it's useless. We should stop and plan out our own route."

"And how exactly do you suggest we do that Ms. Uhura?" Spock snapped back, "We have no maps, no guidance system of any kind and absolutely no idea of our current position. We must keep walking until we find the Romulan base or I fix my tricorder, is that clear?"

Spock had been acting unusually the entire mission; anxious and paranoid. Part of Uhura knew he didn't mean what he said but another larger part of her was angered by his rudeness and drove her to step ahead, blocking Spock's path.

"All I know, Mr. Spock, is that wandering around in circles is a waste of both our time and I refuse to follow you—"

Her words were cut short by the forceful slap delivered with cold efficiency by Spock's stiff hand. She staggered back, tears of pain and shock dripping down her face and touched her fingers to her lips, which came away bloody. Not believing what had just happened she stepped further away from the dazed Spock, who was staring down at his own hand, and fell to the grass weeping, despite her best attempts to suppress it. Spock returned his hand to his side and stumbled forward.

"Uhura…you must find the Captain…and Sulu…we need to leave this planet!" His voice sounded so much like a frightened child's that Uhura looked up, and saw the worry and pain etched into Spock's face. Then at once it all vanished and he collapsed onto the grass, a few feet from Uhura's quivering frame. She crawled over to him as the sympathetic and caring part of her took over and, gathering some plant life from nearby, made Spock a makeshift pillow. Then she wiped the blood from her swollen lip, pulled herself together and set off in the direction she thought they came from. She knew the logical Spock lying unconscious on the grassy ground would not approve, but she _felt_ this was the right way.

Uhura was rewarded when half an hour later she found Sulu and the Captain, still asleep among the rocks. Fearing they had been injured she ran to them and checked them over but found nothing. When she heard their snores she shook them both frantically.

"Captain! Sulu! What's the matter with you two? GET UP!"

The two awoke immediately at Uhura's exasperated cry. "Lieutenant Uhura, what are you doing here?" Kirk asked dozily. "Where's Spock? And what happened to your lip?"

Uhura shook her head at the Captain's volley of questions, "No time to explain everything Captain, Spock collapsed and he sent me to find you. He says we _have_ to get off the planet _now_!"

Uhura's story chased all sleep fog from Kirk's mind and he shot up, pulling Sulu up with him. "Where's Spock now?"

"Follow me."

Uhura led Kirk and Sulu back to the grassy treed maze where they found Spock still unconscious.

"Forget the Romulan camp we need to get Spock help," Kirk said decisively as he flipped open his communicator.

"It won't work here, Captain. We were trying for hours to contact you and the Enterprise, but it was like they just stopped working," Uhura said when she saw the device.

"You had nothing?"

"No, Captain. Even Spock's tricorder quit on us."

"Then how did you find Sulu and I?"

"I guessed Captain."

"Guessed?" Kirk asked as he stepped towards her.

"Yes I…had a feeling where you were and I just went the way I felt was right."

"You mean you just took off without any idea where you were going?"

"Well…I guess sir…but I had to find you and somehow…I knew I would."

"I don't know how you knew where to find us, Lieutenant, but you were right. And if I remember correctly, our equipment worked at the transport point, if you can get us back there we should be able to call Scotty and beam back aboard. Can you do it?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Good, Sulu, help me carry Spock." As the men carried Spock with his arms slung over their shoulders, Uhura led the way back to where they had landed on the planet. And as Kirk predicted their communicators worked perfectly when they returned.

"Kirk to Enterprise."

"It's about time Cap'n, I was about to send a search party down for yehs"

"No need Scotty. Have Dr. McCoy stand by in the transporter room and prepare to beam us up."

"Aye Aye Sir."

"Energize"

Kirk handed the still unconscious Spock to McCoy and helped hoist him onto a gurney that Christine quickly wheeled off to sick bay, and after a brief protest followed the gurney along with Sulu and Uhura.

Being back aboard the ship had lifted the sleepy burden from Kirk and Sulu, however, and a short physical convinced McCoy that they were fit to return to their duties. Uhura's broken lip earned her a slightly longer stay for some antiseptic cream but soon she too was back on the bridge. Spock, however, did not recover as quickly.

"What's wrong with him Bones?" Kirk asked as he stood at the end of Spock's bed, gazing at his unconscious friend.

"He seems to have undergone serious emotional stress, Jim. It's as if he had been forced to feel a range of emotions in a short span of time. It would be hell for anyone but for a Vulcan it's torture beyond comprehension. His comatose state is likely a self-defense mechanism. He should come around."

"Do you know when?"

"It could be anywhere from a couple days to a couple weeks, it's hard to say."

"Before he collapsed he told Uhura we had to get off the planet but I can't leave when wanted criminals might be roaming around down there."

"I wish there was something I could do Jim but I can't bring him out of this any more than I can a coma patient."

"I understand Bones. Call me if he comes to okay."

"Sure Jim."

Satisfied enough to return to the bridge Kirk left sickbay and headed to relieve Scotty. Before taking his seat in command, however, he walked to the sensor at Spock's usual post and checked the planet. The sensor was still reading the small group of Romulan's and, strangely, a large energy source close to them. It looked like a generator of some kind. Was the situation worse than he thought?

"Dammit, what do you know Spock?" he thought as he took back command and sat down.

When his shift was retired, Kirk made his way to his quarters slowly but he had only just sat down at his desk when he was buzzed by McCoy.

"What is it Bones?"

"It's Spock Jim, he's just woke up and he's awful anxious to see you. I told him the feeling was mutual."

"Thanks Bones, I'm on my way."

Kirk rushed to sickbay where McCoy met him outside.

"Before you go in Jim, I should warn you. He's still recovering from whatever trauma he's gone through. It seems that he's only awake through sheer will. Don't do anything to frazzle him or push him too hard. He still needs to rest."

"Alright, I'll be wary of his condition."

Kirk was slightly unprepared for Spock's appearance. The strain of whatever he was suffering from was clearly weighing heavily on him, he looked like a ghost; pale with gaunt features. He tried his best to ignore those thoughts and moved towards him.

"Cap-," Spock tried his voice cracking. He seemed to decide to simplify his words and tried again, "Jim…"

"What is it Spock."

"Ro-Rom-"

"The Romulans?" Spock nodded. "What about them?" Kirk asked gently.

"Not…there," Spock answered.

"Not there? What do you mean?"

"Never…were…kept going…we were…tricked," Spock finished, breathing heavily.

"Tricked by who?"

"Search…Thracian Three…archive tapes."

"And they hold answers?"

"Yes."

"Thank-you Spock, I'll check them immediately. Meanwhile you get better; we need our first officer back."

"Yes."

Kirk chuckled and moved to leave but Spock stopped him, "Captain?"

"Yes Spock?"

"Is Ms. Uhura…injured…badly?"

Puzzled at the Vulcan's concern, he turned around to examine his friend.

"Not at all Spock, just some swelling, she'll be fine."

"May I…speak…with her?"

"Of course… I'll have Doctor McCoy buzz her."

Utterly confused, Kirk left sickbay and keeping his word, told McCoy of Spock's wishes.

Uhura stood in front of her mirror gazing at her swollen lip and the dark red splotch where the break in it had scabbed over. She shuddered as she remembered the force with which the wound had been made. Hearing the sound of her video screen she left the mirror and turned the monitor on. She saw Doctor McCoy's stern face wearing an expression she rarely saw: pure confusion.

"Hello Doctor," she began.

"Hello Uhura. Uh...it's about …"

Fresh memory caused her to pause before asking timidly, "Has he woken up?"

"Uh, yea. And he wants to speak to you."

"Speak to me? About what?"

"I wish I knew."

"Okay, I'll be down in a minute."

"See you then."

Uhura flicked the monitor off and sat back in her chair, hesitating. She could not ignore what Spock had done to her. After a moment she stood and walked back towards the door, pausing as she caught her reflection in the mirror. Flashes of different memories flew around her, memories of the good she had seen in Spock; the many times he had saved lives and cared for countless crew including herself.

"Doesn't he deserve to be forgiven for one time, he's not perfect," a voice inside her mused.

She sighed and headed for sick bay.

After receiving the same warning Kirk had, Uhura entered the room where Spock lay in his ghostlike state and found her heart breaking at the sight of him. She wanted to go hold his hand and speak comfort but she knew it would not help him. In fact it would more likely earn her another slap for her insult. She shyly stepped forward and met Spock's tired gaze.

"Uhura," he winced slightly as his eyes found her swollen lip.

Uhura was surprised by the Vulcan's use of her name; he had never addressed her without a formal pretext and his voice was so faint, his tone pained. She managed to reply with, "Y-you wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes…wanted to…offer…" Spock took a deep breath, it was clear that it took every effort just to spit out these few words. "…my…apology."

Uhura's breath caught in her throat. She had never heard him apologize to anyone. Without any warning the feelings she had been supressing came to life and tears crept from her eyes. "I know you were just…unwell, Spock but…I don't understand…I've never…" The tears began to flow freely and she turned away. Spock shifted in discomfort and spoke again.

"Wo-…would you…like to…un-under-" he cleared his throat, struggling with the word.

"Understand?" Uhura finished still facing away from him.

"Yes."

Uhura wiped away her tears and collected her wits, turning to face him again she answered, "Yes, Spock…I would"

"Mind-Meld…here," Spock made to sit up but Uhura moved closer and gently pushed him back down, leaning her head close to his. He reached his hand up and within seconds Uhura experienced Spock's entire ordeal, his initial fatigue and anger, then the shame, worry and hurt at seeing her bloody mouth. Spock pulled his hand away and Uhura stumbled back into a chair panting heavily.

"I am…sorry," Spock said quietly as he watched Uhura struggle with the emotions buzzing inside her and then put them into place.

"Yes, you are," Uhura smiled at him, "And I forgive you."

"Thank-you…now I can…recover…in good…con-cons-"

"Conscience."

"Yes."

"We'll all eagerly await your recovery, Spock. Sleep well."

Uhura walked softly out of sickbay as Spock fell asleep behind her.

Captain's Log: A thorough search of the archive tapes on the planet Thracian Three revealed that the planet is not really a planet, but a mere illusion powered by a complex energy source meant to incapacitate us. It is still unknown what its purpose is but it is likely a trap set by Romulan's to stall pursuers, and not meant to harm in any way, as we were still able to use communication and it's method of incapacitation had little to no effect on Lieutenant Uhura. However, the effects seemed increased on the Vulcan who has yet to recover.

Just as Kirk finished logging, he heard the elevator door slide open and turned to see Spock, accompanied by Dr. McCoy. Kirk stood as Spock made to address him.

"Captain, permission to return to post," at the sound of his voice Sulu and Uhura turned to watch.

"Permission granted ," Kirk answered with a smile and everyone returned happily to their duties

"Take us out , Warp 3."

"Yes, Sir"


End file.
